It’s Long But Please, I Really Need Help, I Would Be Deeply Greatful!?

Well after I had been raped. I will admit I wasn’t stable and this guy got a crush on me. I was lonely and felt hated most of the time. But I was a bit hesitant since I didn’t trust people that completely. I even went as far to say that I didn’t believe in love. But he insisted and made me believe in it. He would tell me he loved me and hold my hand. He would constantly want to do things with me. I loved the attention and besides I had never been with a guy that had cared about me like that. So our parents esp. my father got in the way of our relationship. He made me break up with him basically. All I really said was that I needed time away. I even shared a class with him. He never really approached me or talked to me. I felt sad. I felt like he didn’t care.Plus I have to deal with my abusive family situation at home (Father abuses me). Then this other guy in my class started talking to me. He started following me after class and wanting to hang out with me. So I did. He told me he was sorry about what happened to me and the guy and he was a real asshole to me. (There was times when he would get unreasonably angry and give me the silent treatment and once he even deletedd me from Facebook) After all that I still talked to him. So anyways, once he saw me and the other guy together and he just smiled. I felt really bad and told him I wanted to hang out. But he was always busy. I even texted him while I was with the other guy. He just said that he couldn’t listen to anything I said while I was with him (I kinda jokingly said we should have a threesome)..LOL. Anyways later on I asked him to go out with me and he said sure. Ok so around the time of the date he saw me and the other dude and he looked pissed. I told him we were just friends but I dont think he understands. Oh there was another encounter we had before this. I was really depressed because of my home and sexual past and then he came up to me and asked me if I would smoke pot with him (he has a pit addiction) I didn’t want to and something told me to say no. I standed up for myself and said no but I still followed him because I really liked him! Basically he locked me in and I tried to talk him out of it but he would not listen. SO i shouted “I LOVE SEX” “Sex is my addiction, you should get that addiction” and hes all like oh so If I drive us to an abandoned lot will you have sex with me. Being uneasy about sex as I was raped I said “maybe.” I feel stupid now because I wish I would have said yes. So he said he was going to smoke anyway and then I had to get up and leave. When I got back in the school I asked him what the hell was wrong with him and hes all like yeah I have an addiction. Now about all the times I have asked him to hang out: Something always happens or he always gets caught up doing something else. I also mistakenly thought he was spreading rumors about me and I told him I was sorry. But now its summer and I still love him and all he will text me back is “stop playin’ games” or “stop playing games” I wish he knew how much I loved him but he doesn’t believe me. I basically texted him telling him I was going to jump off a cliff and I guess my blood and tears mean nothing to him. He has deleted me from Facebook and probably off my phone (I wouldnt know though cause my parents took my phone) And I have been super depressed laying in bed for a week crying. My friends are trying to contact him now and tell him to talk to me at least or say that hes not interested instead of saying we will talk and then we never do. I can’t hold on much longer!!! I think my life is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!…
Thanks for listening!